Nowhereland-Fiction books/Nowhereland
Where the fun it doth begin within the gift that so be-eth life
Dawn
Dawn is the story of the man as he crawls through his, quote, life, close quote, through what he sees as an ever ugly world, encountering characters along the way, all of whom he very much wishes he had never encountered at all...except for one. Right away it is evident something is amiss as the man eventually finds his way back home only to find he in no way knows the people inside and recognizes none of the belongings within it. At some point he encounters the woman who is upon a beach that is atop a cliff, the man having no memory of how he got there. But, who is she? Who is he? Through a wasteland the man he crawls, from nowhere to nowhere, sardonic commentary of the dark comedy of a broken record. Existence? Persistence? And on he crawls, but remembers the one beauty as he does. Crawling and crawling, but leading to what...Where is it all going?
Postcards from the Wasteland
Nihil wanders through his days, going wherever it is his steps take him. Through his journeys he encounters characters and situations bizarre, confusing, confounding, somber, surreal, painful, pitiful, pathetic, inconceivable, astonishing and absurd. But still, in this short novel, Nihil continues walking his steps, and all that he sees, all of it, just postcards from the wasteland, leading to what exactly though?
Xavier Cockroachal Damon's, Um, Entirely Fictitious Autobiography: Includes The Missing Years
The story of the life of me, Xavier Cockroachal Damon, a rather bizarre life that some might find too impossible to be believed. The details of my youth were, let's just say, somewhat calamitous, but still, Xavier Cockroachal Damon continued on, trying to find that one good thing in his life that could rescue him from disappointment, disillusionment and despair. It's a life seemingly forever ambushed by the absurd and assaulted by vile, unwanted circumstance to create a sorry, broken, disjointed dance. It is the life of Xavier Cockroachal Damon, the life of me, who, I suppose I must confess, may have at times been his own worst enemy. But, as I traveled through life, did I ever find that one good thing, create a new song I could sing, something that could end forever nightmare scream? Well, life is only ever but a dream.
Drowned Beneath a Bleeding Sky
A novel. Roger lives in a rundown, dilapidated area that strangles his spirit with every moment he spends within it. He sees life as a pointless, dreary slog, where every day is exactly the same, and he drowns his days away with an ever flowing liquor stream. One night, he encounters a very mysterious woman. The problem is that he doesn't actually know if she is real or if he is just imagining her. Soon, reality itself is called into question. What is real? What is not? And what is to be believed when it seems there is no way anything could possibly be true? Those are questions Roger tries to find the resolution to. Figuring out the answers though, is not a puzzle to be easily solved.
Welcome to Nowhereland (5 Stories)
“Welcome to Nowhereland (5 Stories)”. They say that life is what you make of it, that it can be whatever you want it to be if guided by the right hand. They say that you make your own luck. They say that all dreams can come true if you just want them bad enough. They say you can do whatever you want to do if you just set your mind to it, that anything is possible. Well, I don’t know how true that would be when you’re born, “Cursed”. Though, I suppose you could always look, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” to try to maky your dreams come true. Um, to try and fail miserably, that is. But, I guess that’s the way it goes when life is always, “No Doors In, No windows Out”, and it’s always, “Hell Is Where the Heart Is”. But, I guess it really makes no difference what you do when you’re forever, “Trapped”. You know, as for the opening optimistic statements that began this description, sometimes they really don't know what they are talking about. We’re all put here for a reason, aren’t we? But, maybe sometimes that reason is just an absurd fiasco and doesn’t make any damn sense at all.
The Adventures of Man-Man, Defender of Man: (Episodes 1-10)
If a poll was taken, who would be crowned the greatest superhero of all time? Would it maybe be Superman? Possibly, Batman? It could potentially be any number of the contenders who have populated the superhero stage. Well, I do believe it would surprise the reader to learn that the winner of that contest would actually be Man-Man, Defender of Man. And, it would surprise the reader because Man-Man is, without any doubt, the absolute worst superhero of all time. He’s deranged, he’s disturbed, he’s, in every way, incompetent and he always displays an astounding level of pure idiocy. I would say, that with Man-Man on the case, you have nothing to fear, but, with Man-Man on the case, you really, really do. This book contains the first ten episodes of the superhero parody saga. Also, there is a heaping helping of 90's pop culture nostalgia for those interested in embarking on the journey to see the story of Man-Man, Defender of Man.
Platypus
A short novel. The book follows the story of Cyrus, a man that finds himself in quite the peculiar predicament. For reasons, and by methods he cannot comprehend, he is repeatedly transported to a disturbing, bizarre location where he is subjected to unspeakable horrors, and where he encounters characters that defy all reason, and where nothing that happens ever makes any sense, at all. Is it all just a bad dream? He sets about uncovering the secrets and solving the mystery as to what it is that is happening. In doing so, he learns that uncovering the truth reveals a far more intricate web of absurd impossibilities than he ever expected and that, sometimes, deciphering what is real and what is not, can be a bewildering and preposterous proposition.
"Love Is What Will Make an Immortal Die", the follow up to "Dawn" and the story of the man. How has he been? How will he be? How was he ever? "Waiting for Godotal", waiting for salvation, happiness, the answer to the meaning of life. Does Godotal show this night? Well, I won't give that away but there may be an appearance by Oscar the Grouch. "Future Uncertain, Self-sedition, No Reason, Rhyme, Trapped Within the Demise of Time", what would you do if you were a 98 year old man thrown back in time to encounter a younger version of himself, thrust into an entirely nonsensical sequence of events? Would you consider the John Smith way? By the renowned John Smith. This is followed by a mystery, "The Mystery of the Missing Dead". The book ends with the short story "Sojourn Within the Shadow Night". What is the shadow of a shadow when there is no light?
Love Is What Will Make an Immortal Die: Also Includes Waiting for Godotal and Future Uncertain, Self-sedition, No Reason, Rhyme and The Mystery of the Missing Dead and Sojourn Within the Shadow Night
Self-extermination. Sounds Like a Plan: Also Includes Give Me a Burger and Hold the Fries and Brain Circus and (3 Essays About Donald J. Trump) and Man-Man, Episode 1 and Soliloquy to My Soul
So you’ve decided to journey back through time and kill every single reincarnation of yourself that has ever been in an attempt to prevent yourself from ever having been born. What could possibly go wrong? Um, pretty much everything does. The book also includes "Give Me a Burger and Hold the Fries", a story where the main character is engaged in an epic battle, squaring off against an eight foot tall homicidal potato. Um, things may get a little strange. Maybe? There is also an extremely short play "Brain Circus" which is a representation of the absurdities of attempting to decipher neurological abnormalities within the medical system. There are then three essays regarding the ludicrous words and actions of Donald Trump's presidential run. Following this is the story, "The Adventures of Man-Man, Defender of Man. Episode 1: The Battle Against the Evil Tree". It is the first story involving the legendary superhero Man-Man, who may very well be the greatest superhero. Or so help me the absolute, without any possible question, the worst damn superhero ever. Which is it? I leave it up to the reader to decide. The book concludes with "Soliloquy to My Soul", which in terms of classification of what it is, I do believe it would fall under the label of Other.
Dog Years Within the Curse of Seven (7 Plays)
Seven Plays. "Off With the Head". A play about what may very well be the worst king in history. In “Dung”, a full length absurdist play, Roger and Pith are supposed to go out but they can’t because someone is outside the door. Eventually the someone leaves and Pith says now they should go out. Roger says if they do, and make just one wrong step it will land them in a someplace worse. They do go out. Do they make that one wrong step? The play is called “Dung” you do realize. In “Suicide Fanatics” a somewhat dysfunctional family is attempting to do the first thing they ever have together as a family. They are all trying to kill themselves at the same time. Said somewhat didn’t I? Things, well, they don’t go exactly as planned. In “The Amnesiac” the parents are suffering due to the plight of their son because he can’t remember anything and so they go to The Doctor to try and cure their angst. In “The Unwelcome Visitors”, a play that is in many ways about memory and family, or a complete lack thereof, things are either not what they seem, are what they seem though they really don’t seem that way, something else entirely or none of the above. In “Memories of Tomorrow” Roger is trying to do something truly important, something that has meaning, something that matters, he is trying to count a very large pile of potatoes on the floor beside him. In “Just One of Those Days”, a full length play, Burton is having just one of those days. Thing is, just one of those days never actually lasts just a single day. This one, goes on a bit longer. And he spends the entire time tied to a chair. What is existence when tied to a chair? What is there you can do? Might there though be…something?
What a Wonderful World
​Roger stumbles through his days, trying to find something, anything of meaning or anything that makes sense, trying to find something that doesn’t fill him with disgust. But, all he sees around him in the world makes him sick, world events, religion, “culture”, and so he stumbles on in a drunken daze, wondering what the point to any of it is, finding no answers. As he wanders the city streets at night, it is odd, but it is as if the buildings change and all city surroundings, people, cars, noise, all just disappear as he continues to walk on deeper within the night. Then, one night while out, he happens upon a bench and is greeted by a person upon it who announces, “Cheerio good chap, Roger, you do know that we are going to kill you tonight, don’t you?” By the end, will any be able to contest, it truly is a wonderful world, is it not. But…who exactly are “They”?
John Harm, Private Detective. The Case of the Evil, Global Shadow Conspiracy: Also Includes Disgusticon the Transformer and The Heist of the Century+Bonus Track!
"John Harm, Private Detective. The Case of the Evil, Global Shadow Conspiracy". In this short novel, a detective novel parody, John Harm will embark upon the case of his career where nothing is what it seems and the twists and turns will make your head spin and John Harm will have to use all his private detective instincts to know what is true and what is not. How will John Harm solve the mystery of the evil, global shadow conspiracy? He's going to solve it the John Harm way. "Disgusticon the Transformer" is a novella about the planet Xtrapolis whose only inhabitants are two warring factions of giant robots, Disgusticon is a member of the benevolent Shazzbot clan and he just knows, he was meant to do something truly special. In "The Heist of the Century", a short story, Xavier Crane is trying to pull off that one final score that will get him out of the game so he can finally live the good life. He plans out every detail so that nothing could go wrong. The night of the heist arrives. But, how does it end up going? Um, it ends up going South. In this special edition of the book there is also a Bonus Track: The Alternate Reality Normandy Beach Assault.
"Hope" one must have it, without hope what else is there? "Cockroachalisms, Life Lessons Learned On My Journey Through Life", allow the guru of wellness that is Xavier Cockroachal Damon to lead you down the path of happiness with life lessons only he could teach. "Motel Hell", the place where lost souls dwell. "Climb from Hell", Supustrus is trying to rescue himself and his wife by escaping hell. Will they make it? "Gus Versus the Evil Gods", an offshoot of Cockroachalisms where the dominant personality of an intentionally splintered mind is set to do battle against what is now 82 Evil Gods. Who is going to be triumphant? Oh it is so on! And a collection of essays featuring the "Political Theatre of the Absurd 2016" series of essays about the idiot parade, charade that is the 2016 race for the white house. Oh, and in the short story “Hope” there is a possibility I go totally off on an American literary icon whose name rhymes with moose. There is that possibility.
Welcome to the Idiot Box: Stories, Essays, Self-help Wisdom
Diary of a Man Who Set Out to Prove the Earth is Flat (And Other Stories)
“Diary of a Man Who Set Out to Prove the Earth is Flat” is a short story that is presented as the journal entries of an explorer who has embarked on his most important expedition ever. It is an expedition to reveal to all, the truth he knows, that the Earth is actually flat, not round as we have been led to believe. How does his voyage go? Was he successful in his endeavors? Um, no, he wasn’t. Because the Earth isn’t flat! The story is satire of flat earthers though the main target of the story is climate change deniers. “The Church Of The Resurrection Inc.” is a short story about two followers of The Church Of The Resurrection who dutifully perform actual, physical resurrections in the name of their church. The problem is, every time they do perform a resurrection on someone, something goes very wrong. They are baffled and seek the answers to explain what is happening. Eventually, they do solve the mystery but, in doing so, they find out that The Church Of The Resurrection Inc. isn’t exactly what they believed it to be. “The Persarius Experiment” is a short story about the morally and ethically dubious nature of psychological, behavioral social experiments that have been performed over the years. Dr. Persarius has a vision for the experiments he conducts, but, is that vision something that anyone should see, and are his experiments actually a necessity for the greater good? Well, I suppose that would be open for debate. “Three 10 Minute Plays About Donald J.erkass Drumpf” are three separate ten minute plays about Donald Trump. Based on the title, you really shouldn’t need for me to reveal my opinion of Donald Trump to get an idea of how he is presented. Drumpf was actually his original family name before it was changed to Trump by one of his ancestors. Donald Drumpf, a much more fitting name for the man that he is. The final story of the book, “Exploring the Mysteries of Space: You Might Not Like What You Find” is a short story about the presence of life on a planet in the galaxy being discovered. When this occurs, it is a time of great celebration as, for so many years that had been the ultimate goal of space exploration. A scientist is sent out to the planet to observe and study the alien creatures. It was all anyone had wanted but, well, I suppose the saying, be careful what you wish for would be appropriate because the alien life discovered turns out to be the stuff of nightmare and are worse than anyone ever could have imagined. The reader will be shocked to hear the details of the alien species that is discovered and, most definitely they should be afraid, they should be very, very afraid.
Where in the World is Xavier Cockroachal Damon?
